E3 in a Nutshell

E3 in a nutshell

Microsoft:
MS: Xbox 360
Everyone: Yay!
MS:...New Design!
Everyone: Aw...
MS: Killer Instinct
Everyone: Yay!
MS:..Free to Play, with paid subscription and every character being DLC.
Everyone: Aw...
MS: A new IP by the creator of Panzer Dragon
Everyone: Yay!
Microsoft: Without Sound!
Everyone: -_-
A person at the audience: You suck!
In Conclusion;
Almost everyone quitted gaming.

EA:
*EA spokesman comes in*
EA spokesman: Sports and Battlefield.
*EA spokesman leaves stage*
*some person from PopCap studios comes in*
*plays rap song*
Popcap person: WAT UP HOMIES, THIS E3 IS SICK BRAH, MAH GOD, IT'S LIKE OMG I'M AT E3. HERE'S SOEM GAYMES.
In Conclusion,
Mirror's Edge was the only thing worth a fuck.

Ubisoft:
*spokeswoman picks up a hugelist*
Spokeswoman: You see, we actually give a shit about games.
In Conclusion,
It was actually pretty awesome

Sony:
*Kingdom Hearts 3 announced and used games are available for PS4*
*crowd goes apeshit*
???: I can't take this anymore...
*??? goes to the main stage*
Sony exec: Bill Gates?! What are you doing here?! WITH THIS BOMB IN YOUR CHEST?!
Bill Gates: AAAAAAAAARGH!
*Bill Gates blows himself up along with the entire Sony Booth*
In Conclusion,
There were 431 casualties and the presentation was amazing.

Nintendo:
Reggie: Look guys, we actually have games!
*crowd goes wild with X, Bayonetta 2, Wonderful 101, Zelda, Mario Kart and the new Pokemon*
Reggie: And here's Retro's new game
*shows Donkey Kong*
*Crowd becomes angry mob*
Reggie: Ok, Plan B.
*Shows Megaman in Smash Bros*

In Conclusion,
Due to the amount of orgasms and apeshit reaction of the audience with both Sony and Nintendo's presentations, everyone became gamers and the presentation was spectacular.

Sony, Nintendo and Ubisoft Wins!